Make Love To Me
by Mina Lisly
Summary: Clary wakes up in the middle of the night due to suspicious noise in her apartment. She investigates, but little does she know that this search will change the life she had … maybe even forever? {OOC/AH/AU} Romance/Lemons - Beta: Jia Ming
1. In The Middle Of The Night,

**My dear little broccolis㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **~So, this will be a very short story. Three-four chapters at most. And be warned, the rating is due to lemons, starting the first chapter. Don't be shocked. It's just me. We all know I like to write lemons. Haha.**

 **~ Huge thanks to Jia Ming for bearing with me and editing this story for you guys.**

 **~ So go on, read and don't forget to follow/favourite/review. Love. ㈏4㈏4㈏4**

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 **Chapter 1** **: In The Middle Of The Night (6,6K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Clary's PoV.**

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I was sleeping safe and sound in my bed, when I suddenly hear a noise that wakes me up. I abruptly sit up in my bed, straining my ears all the while my insides freeze with fear as my immediate thoughts are that I'm being burgled. Isn't it ironic? _Me_ , of all people, getting cleaned up? I thought that it was common knowledge among pity criminals that my apartment isn't one to be visited. I am probably the safest person in this city. The police watches out for me, the mob watches out for me, even the Feds watch out for me. A burglar as more chances in the White House than in my little flat.

You'd think that I must be a very shady person to have such 'bodyguards', but no. I am just me. I actually consider myself as a good and kind person. I just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong moment. I just happened to have shady acquaintances. Not that I knew, it just happened to me. Because I was naive enough to let myself fall in love with the blond criminal who stole my heart.

With all the cautiousness of the world, I take the iron baseball bat that always stays under my bed since five years ago; and with my heart hammering like a drum, I silently head towards the source of the unsettling sound, which would seem to be coming from my office. It's been five years since I've been there. _Ever since him_. _Jace._ Ever since Jace, I have never touched a crayon with an intention to draw. I completely stopped going to this office where it once brought me serenity, where him and I built so many of our happiest memories together. Where I drew so many things about us, where we made so many plans about this important thing that was supposed to be our future.

As I make my way through the corridor, I warily look at the slightly opened door that leads to my former office; and I gave it a slight push... Only to find myself looking through my old drawings to the last person I would expected to see in here. For a second, I thought that I was hallucinating. I mean, it _can't_ be. I know for a fact that it can't be. This is _literally_ impossible.

I stand here, useless and frozen in the doorframe as I watch him rumble through my stuff; and so many memories assault me all at once. Strangely, I can only hold on to the good ones. Like our first kiss, our many first-times, the first time he told me that he loved me, that one time when he almost choked on broccoli because I told him that I might be pregnant and when afterwards, he spun me in the air with glee and happiness. The endless laughters, the wonderful smiles, the fire-like kisses, the amazing sex. How many times did he come back home and found me in that very office, drawing my heart out? How many times did he smile at that image and said that he wished that I'd never lose my spark of creativity? How many times did he passionately prove me his love in that very office?

I know that I shouldn't be thinking of that. I know that I shouldn't think of him like that. Not anymore. He's a criminal, a worldwide-known criminal. He killed people just because they were standing in his way, just because he was told to, just because it was easier like that. He chose to mingle himself with the Mafia. He chose to destroy so many lives, mine being just an example among other. I shouldn't have my heart race of love for him anymore. I should hold on to the ugly feelings he brought out in me.

Like the heartbreak of knowing about his vile life after three years of common life. Like the humiliation of having to go to his trials and hear about all the numerous lives he ceased. Like the desperation I felt when I understood that he had never been fully honest with me.

" _What are you doing here_?" I suddenly ask, finding within me sources of unknown confidence. I watch him as he stiffens, but he doesn't turn around to look at me, which infuriates me because it makes me feel like I really am nothing to him.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," He utters in a whisper, his back still facing me, and I scowl myself for having missed his voice so much. I try to use all my mental powers to will him to turn and face me, but of course, I don't have any, and he never faces me. It's barely if he acknowledges me, and it hurts. Because this cold shoulder is what I had been given for the past five years.

"You're supposed to be in jail," I lightly point out, and Jace resumes his initial intentions and starts rumbling through my old papers as he states the obvious with a very detached voice:

"I broke out of jail. I just needed to get something, and I'll be on my way."

" _What_?" I shrieked. The realisation that the only purpose of his unannounced arrival was only for a piece of paper. It's like I never even _mattered_ to him. I can understand that he moved on during those five years, but can't he, _at least_ , apologise? For the good times we had together? Can't he at least _pretend_ to care and show me a glimpse of the man he used to be back then? Just for a brief second?

"Did you stash the list of your victims in _my_ stuff?" I sarcastically ask, because we both know that the police went through all my things several times in order to look for anything mob-related.

Jace clutches his right fist as his whole body tenses up, and then he orders me with a very cold voice: "Go back to sleep, Clary."

I couldn't handle him treating me with disrespect any more and I automatically demand, " _Look at me_!"

He owes it to me. He owes me this one thing, and still, he's denying it to me. He loudly heaves, passing his right hand over his face; and then he says, his voice almost pleading:

"Please, Clary. Just go back to sleep. _Please_."

I angrily slam the door shut and lean against it, closing my eyes as I try to swallow all the emotions running wild through my mind. Jace is back at the place that used to be our haven, in that room where we talked about the names of our future babies. Now all he cares about is some stupid piece of paper that could have been unnoticed by the police and the Feds. Not to mention the mob, because I am sure that they broke in the apartment before the Officials had the legislation to search the place.

I know that I should call the cops. I know that I should denounce Jace and send his sorry ass back to the jail where he belongs. I should completely do it, but I _can't_. Because no matter how much it hurts, I still love him. Not matter how guilty he is, I still love him. No matter how horrible his crimes may get, I still love him.

For these past five years he's been in jail, the idea of moving on never crossed my mind. _Not even once_. Not even after he refused to see me when I dragged myself in that awful place they call a prison. Not even after he refused my phone calls or my unopened letters to him that he sent back. I stubbornly stayed in love with him, because this is how damaged I am. I cannot deny that.

After two long minutes of fighting against my feelings, I decide to go to the kitchen and I pour myself a glass of freezing water so I can process all that's happening. My hands are shaking as if I had Parkinson, and so I hold the glass tighter, straining my ear in the hope to hear him. But I don't. Like I never did. Jace had always been very good at being silent. I guess it was one of the perks of his lifestyle. I actually loved that. The fact that he could startle me out of nowhere. It was always a nice surprise for me to see him appear from thin air, with a bright smile as he would kiss me, making fun of my little jolts of scare.

Suddenly, the house phone rings; and I warily watch it, knowing who is calling. Of course, the cops would immediately call me if Jace broke out of jail. After all, I'm the only person who still care about Jace. The only person who calls the prison to have some news from him. Of course, at first, everyone wanted a piece of him. The Feds, the cops, the mob. But that was during the trials. I'm the only one who stocked with him. I'm the only one who stayed faithful after all the mess, even if he couldn't care less.

"Don't answer that," Jace strongly demands just behind me as I'm about to answer. I inwardly curse him for still being able to startle me like that, and even more for still making my heart beat like a drum just by the sound of his voice. I spin on myself to glare at him, and I defiantly pick up the phone, silently daring him to make a scene.

"Clarissa Morgentern," I say loud and clear, and I see a pang of pain cross his face. I know that it wasn't because I didn't listen to him. He reacted that way because I used my old family name. And somehow, his pain is something that I like to see. If it pains him that I went back to use my old family name, it means that he still cares at least a tiny bit.

I used to go by Clarissa Herondale. I used to love using his family name. And he used to say that one day, he would make it official. That one day, we would go to a fancy church and that he would give me his name in front of God and the law. But, for obvious reasons, it never happened; and so I went back to my old family name. Mostly because I didn't want people to judge me because of the associations that went with his name. After all, his trials made it big. He was on the news' covers for several months.

"Clary, this is Officer Simon Lewis," Simon says over the phone, and I can't say that I'm surprised. Simon is the officer that helped through this mess Jace put me into.

He's the one who broke me the news about Jace's arrest. He's the one who took me to each of Jace's trials, protecting me from the paparazzi. He's the one who protected my identity when the trials went public. He's the one who calls me every week to keep me updated about Jace and his wellbeing. And he's the one who knows how hurt I am by Jace's silent and cold treatment toward me.

"I hope I'm not waking you up," He warily says, and I know that he's about to break the news. Jace longly studies my face, searching if I will rat him out or not. God! I missed his face. I missed feeling his eyes on me. I shouldn't, but I do. His face changed, though. Despite the fact that he gained muscles and that he let a beard cloud his face, something in his eyes changed. But I can't figure out what it is.

"No, not at all. You know how I love your calls, Simon," I say with my most natural voice, and I can see how Jace tries to hide his annoyance at me calling officer Lewis by his first name. Especially with the word 'love' in the same sentence. But I ignore whatever it starts within me, and I ask Simon my endless question: "How is Jace?"

"I take it that you don't know," Simon slightly heaves, apparently not thrilled to have to tell me this. This is bringing me to a déjà-vu. When he told me that Jace had been arrested and that he had several inculpations pressed against him. I wait a little before Simon bluntly says: "He broke out of jail earlier in the evening."

"He did _what_?" I muse, my eyes still on Jace who never stopped looking at me. I feel like his golden eyes are looking right into my soul, but that doesn't make me look away the slightest. I've been deprived of him long enough. It's barely if I hear Simon rambling about not knowing how Jace managed to escape one of the most secured department, until he starts talking about things that makes me snap my attention back to the conversation:

"We have reasons to think that he'll _"

"Don't be ridiculous," I cut him off, planting my green eyes in Jace's golden and unfazed eyes, hoping that my words will somehow hurt him. "Jace has proven over the past five years that he wants _nothing_ to do with me. And you know for a fact that there's nothing compromising, here. He has absolutely no reasons to come back."

"I know. He put you through Hell," Simon says with a condescending voice. "He doesn't deserve you."

"He sure doesn't," I curtly say, my eyes never wavering from that criminal that I shouldn't love. I can almost picture Simon have a small smile of empathy for me over the phone, and then he says:

"I'll let you sleep. But I'm still sending a squad by your place, tomorrow morning. Just as a mean of precaution."

"Okay. Thank you very much, Simon," I tell him before hanging up.

Once the phone is back on its receiver, I look down on the floor separating Jace and I, as I tell him: "You should go. The cops will be here in the morning."

He takes a step toward me, and so I slightly up my head. I don't really meet his gaze because that would probably break me. Now that I didn't have anything but him and I to think about, I was chickening out because I was scared of what Jace might say. That he might say that I was a cover all along and that all he ever made me feel was just a lie to him. Because to me, it was _very real_. It still is.

"Clary, …" He doesn't finish his sentence, looking for words, and I finally see what he had been looking for. And my heart bleeds as my eyes set on the piece of paper he's holding.

"What is _this_?" I demandingly ask as he tells me at the exact same time:

"I'm leaving. You won't ever have to put up with my shit again."

"You came back to _steal_ from me?!" I accuse him, deeply wounded that he risked so much for that drawing. He could have me. I'm standing right in front of him. I've just proven him that I wouldn't rat him out, but he still holds that drawing.

And what hurts the most is the fact that it doesn't make sense. Jace did everything in his powers to make me understand that I was nothing to him. That since he was in jail, he didn't need me anymore. And now, he comes back just to steal from me that one perfect memory I made of us. A representation of the first time we kissed.

The drawing isn't even that good, and I actually wanted to throw it; but Jace was mesmerised by it, saying that it was the best thing I could have drawn. And so I kept it. _We_ kept it. Not because it was good, but because of the emotions it withheld. It was when he saw that drawing that Jace told me that he loved me. It was this drawing who brought us back together after our one and only big fight. It was this drawing that made both of our hearts melt every time we would see it.

And now, Jace -who ignored me for five long years- came back for that lame drawing that was made so long ago. This simply doesn't make any sense

"I-I just needed this," He stutters, looking down on his shoes, and I am too blinded by rage to actually dwell on the fact that he never did either of those things before. Instead I yell in a very angry whisper, so I won't wake the neighbors:

" _Five years_ , Jace! You've been constantly pushing me away for five years! And the first thing you do after you break out of jail is to come back here? Not even for _me_ , but for this piece of _crap_?"

"Don't call it that," He says with a pain voice.

"I call it whatever I want! _I_ made it!" I scoff. The two of us fall silent for a moment before I cross my arms over my chest and say, resigned: "You can take it. It's not worth anything to me, anymore. I should have gotten rid of it a long time ago."

I know that if he still cares at least a little for me, the words I just said will hurt. But during those past five years, I suffered but he never seemed to care. So why should I care about him and his feelings? Jace takes a small step toward me, before stopping himself and passing his hand in his golden mane.

"I'm sorry, Clary. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to make you cry. I never meant for you to get dragged into this. When I met you, you were just a challenge. I was only trying to sleep with you. You were supposed to just be a random girl that I'd forget in the morning. But it didn't worked that way. I fell in love with you. I wanted to build a life with you, _for_ you. And I … you made me forget who I was in the first place. You made me want to be a better person … But I completly failed at that."

This is something that I didn't want to hear. I don't want his apologies when they sound so much like a farewell. I don't want him to set things right just before disappearing in the wild. I don't want closure. I just want him back. Back to the life where I was delightfully happy with the illusion of him that he sold me.

"Go Jace. Go, before my heart breaks again," I tell him, closing my eyes to contain my emotions and bringing my arms around my torso before I would crumble apart.

"I love you, Clary," He says with a sincerity that I cannot doubt, and all I can do is curse him as I hear his steps fade away.

I told him to go before my heart broke, but it's too late. I can feel it completely breaking. Piece by piece. Falling to the ground and shattering in a zillion more pieces. I do my best to stay steady as Jace walks out the kitchen, but no matter how hard I try, I still fall on my knees, silently crying my heart out. This was the closure that I never had but never wanted. This was the thing that made me hold on to Jace all those years. That awful goodbye.

Suddenly, I feel arms around me, and even though I should push him off, I end up pulling him closer. I missed his embrace so much. I missed the warmth of his arms, the strength of his muscles, the scent of sunshine that was so peculiar about him. I missed _him_. I feel him stiffen a little, but I don't let him pull away from me. I want him. I want to know if my memories of him are cheating me or not. I want him to show me how much he cares for me, how much he loves me. I want more than words, I want actions.

And so, I tilt my head a little to find his familiar touch. His lips automatically respond to this familiar pressure that my own lips give them, but Jace suddenly breaks our kiss before saying through gritted teeth: "Don't do this to me, Clary."

"You're the one who toyed with my heart for all those years. You're the one who comes back in the middle of the night and who says that you still loved me. And _I'm_ the bad guy?" I stared at him with wide eyes.

He looks at me, clearly torn on whether he should kiss me again or not; and so I make the decision for him. I place one of my hand on his jaw and wrap my other around ghe base of his neck, pulling him towards me. At first, he tried resisting, but then, it was as if a dam broke. In a matter of seconds, he tackles me against the wall of the kitchen, his lips hard on mine as his hands furiously winds up my bare thighs.

I moan under his touch, noticing that his body had gotten stronger in prison, and I let passion take over me. I jerk my head on the side so Jace can kiss me on the juncture between my neck and shoulder; and when he starts to expertly sucks on it, I moan even louder. I missed him so much, and if this is going to be my last night ever with him, I want to remember it until I die of Alzheimer.

Suddenly, Jace stops all the wonderful things he's been doing to me, and he rests his forehead in the crook of my neck as disappointment and frustration take over me. Slowly, but surely, I start fulminating within, while Jace stays incredibly calm and still against me.

"I _can't_ , Clary. I can't do this to you," He says with angst and it makes me wonder what's wrong with him. He has been in jail for _five_ years, he should be thrilled to have a woman willing to put out for him. Where did the myth go? You know, that myth saying that men who just got out of prison are like horny wild animals. Because Jace is anything but a horny animal at the moment.

" _Please_ , Jace," I whimper with a really needy voice, clinging tighter to him. "Please, fuck me and make me forget about those past five years."

At those words, Jace snaps his head back to look deep into my eyes. Then, he gently caresses my face, his golden eyes sparkling with that emotion that I missed so much over the years: love. Longly, he analyses me, before he says in a whisper: "I don't want to fuck you. I want to make love to you. So hard that you'll think of me every time a guy will even _look_ at you. But this isn't fair for you, baby."

"I don't care about fair. I want _you_. _Please_ Jace. Make it up for those years of pain and agony. You owe it to me."

I see hurt cross his face, but I don't find it in myself to feel guilty about it. I just want him to kiss me again. I want to taste his lips all over again, feel how right they feel against mines. I want him to make me collapse of pleasure. I want my Jace back. The one I knew before everything happened. _My Jace_.

And finally, Jace leans in to kiss me. As we kiss, Jace moves and starts leading us towards the bedroom we used to share. Nothing really changed since he left. Nothing except the fact that he no longer slept by my side every night.

With soft gentleness, Jace lays me on the bed and looks at me as if I were the most precious thing in the world. For a moment, I feel like the past five years never happened. Like we're just back to being us, a young happy couple. Engaged and in love.

As if he heard my thoughts, Jace's golden orbs slowly drift to my left hand, and linger on the ring he offered me all those years ago. That ring that is the proof that he once gave me his heart. The ring is quite simple, but I love it. It's a silver ring with an emerald in the shape of a rounded triangle, because Jace said that it matched my eyes perfectly. The silver encircles the emerald, and there's two little drop of diamond on it as well. I remember being concerned with the price he must have paid such a ring, but Jace dismissed my worries, soothing me with his loving voice and saying that there was nothing he wouldn't give me, even if it meant doing the worst. At the time, I just thought it was romantic of him to say so, I didn't know that a part of him was serious.

Slowly, Jace peels me out of the shirt I slept in, one of his shirt; and once I'm in nothing but my black lace undergarments, he leans in and kisses every bit of skin his lips encounter. His fingers gently graze my body up and down as I can feel how turned on he is against my thighs. But I couldn't do anything about it. I'm too consumed by how he's making me feel at this moment. He's everywhere, making me look for air like a breathless maniac.

When he starts sucking on one of my nipple, I feel that familiar twist in my lower stomach, the feeling that only Jace ever brought me; and then one of his hands creeps between my thighs, asking. I opened my legs for him in response, making Jace growl against my chest as he plunges two fingers in me. His thumb rubs circles on my clit, and I couldn't help but start panting. I've missed this so much that I don't know if I'll be able to last as long. Probably not.

Jace lets go of my breast, and I can feel his gaze on me as he adds yet another finger in me and starts mercilessly pumping into me. "I want you so bad, baby," He says in a very husked voice, and beyond comprehension, I manage to answer him:

"Then do. Take me. _Now_. Please."

Jace doesn't wait a single second, and he buries himself in me with a low growl of satisfaction. I wrap my four limbs around him, desperately wanting to make one with him again, sharing yet another passionate kiss as he rams in me with such force and ardour.

Before I can even register it, his pace increases, making the bed move a little more forcefully each time he pounds into me, and my eyes roll to the back of my head. I know he's close. I can feel in the way he holds me. I can hear it in the way he grunts my name, saying how much he missed me. I can see it in the pure lust gleaming in his eyes.

Jace reaches a hand between our intertwined bodies, and plays with my clit as he tells me: "Come with me, baby. Let me see that face you make, once again. Let me see that face that I've missed so much over the past five years."

And just as he says those words, I can feel the stars falling on me and my soul leave my body. I start shaking and trembling beneath Jace, my eyes closed as my face is distorted by this intense pleasure, and Jace pounds even harder in me. I know how much he likes watching me climax, and that it often triggered his own orgasm, just like it does right now. I spasm beneath him for what seems to last forever, clamping his member with my inner walls and exhaling the last breath of air lingering in my lungs.

Jace collapses on top of me, all sweaty and out of breath; and I can't help but smile. He used to automatically roll on the side because he didn't want to 'crush me under his weight', but I always liked feeling him on top of me. I always liked feeling his heart slowly fall into the same cadence as mine through our connected chests. I always liked feeling that we could still be one, even after our love making. And so, after a while, Jace stopped rolling on the side and stayed on top of me. I never had to tell him, he just knew.

I know I should be exhausted by what Jace just gave me, but I've never been more awake. The knowledge that he is soon going to disappear forever of my life is crumbling my heart. Maybe he was right. Maybe I shouldn't have done this to myself. I should have let him go and mourn him afterwards. Now what? Will I even be able to go back to this survival I was in during those past five years? Will I even be able to survive knowing that I'll _never_ see him again?

For I don't know how long, Jace stays on me, caressing my cheek all the while kissing the skin of my shoulder every once in a while. And suddenly, out of nowhere, without a single warning, I can feel him grow again inside of me. The thought that just being next to me can make him hard makes me wet, and so I clench my inner walls around him, bucking my hips to him.

Jace ups himself on his elbows and starts gently going in and out of me, his eyes boring into mines, before he asks: "Are you okay with round two?"

I eagerly nod, already feeling this little twist in my lower stomach as a new wave of warmth goes all the way down my spine; and then I raise my hand to caress his bearded cheek. Jace closes his eyes, leaning into my touch with a small smile; and after feeling him sliding in and out for a couple of more times, I tell him: "Don't hold back, Jace. Make it count. I want to see your face every time I close my eyes."

Jace snaps open his eyes, smirking at me as lust lingers on his face, and I know he'll give me what I want. He knows how I like it rough, his fingers planted in my skin are proof enough. He starts giving me short and hard thrusts, making me yelp each time a little higher before he suddenly flips me and sets me on my knees. Before I can even anticipate the upcoming pleasure, Jace pounds back into me, hitting my G-spot as his hands are steady me so he can thrust in me as he wishes.

I jerk my head backward, panting his name, and he strongly knots his fist in my hair while his other hand pinches my nipples. I can feel myself wet for him, and when his hand in my hair gets even tighter, I moan out loud of pleasure. Jace groans before slapping my butt cheek in that teasing way that I turns me on so much. I can already feel myself on the verge of coming, but I know that he's not ready; and still, he leans and plays with my clit as he whispers in my ear, pounding so hard into me that I'm starting to see stars: "Don't hold back for me. This is for you. Let go, Clary."

I try to fight, but Jace knows my own body better than I do. He nibbles my sweet spot on my collarbone, and I groan out of pleasure, dripping wet on his manhood as I'm riding my orgasm on his hard member. It seems to last for ever, but Jace keeps on playing with me, until I'm completely drained. When I'm just a mess of limbs barely holding it together, he rolls to the side, taking me in his arms but never remove himself from inside me.

I can feel how hard he still is, and so -after waiting a few minutes to regain some energy from that Earth shattering orgasm- I decide to give him that something that he used to like so much. I retrieve myself from him, not liking the cold sensation that I feel once Jace is no longer buried inside me; and then I kneel in front of him.

I plant my eyes in his golden ones, and I can see that he's about to protest. But before he can argue, I took him in my mouth. It takes me a few seconds to accommodate to my own taste on him, but then, my instincts take over. Just like old times. Jace sucks in air through his gritted teeth, completely enjoying what my mouth is doing to him. In a brusk move, his hands are in my hair, and his hips are thrusting upward. I take him even deeper, gagging a little, but knowing that he likes that noise; and then I let him take control of my mouth.

And he does. My name keeps on calling on his lips, as he pounds into my mouth, and I love that effect I have on him. That little control that I have because I could pull out at any moment and save him frustrated. That way my mouth can make him so crazy. I just love it.

"Babe, I'm so fucking close!" Jace growls in a husky murmur before he releases with a groan of pure delectation.

I swallow, noting somewhere in my mind that his alcohol deprived lifestyle changed his taste to the better; and then, Jace brings me back up to his arms. He longly and passionately kisses me, despite the fact that I just went down on him (this is something that he always made a point on doing); and then he hums me a lullaby. That one lullaby that he used to hum me when I was blue or a little sad, or when I had a nightmare.

I know that he's trying to put me to sleep so he can leave with heartbreaking goodbyes, and so I quiet my breathing to the point where he judges that I'm sleeping. I feel him sit on the bed, and for the longest time, he doesn't do anything. He just stays there, and I can feel him staring at me. And for as long as he stays in that position, my heart keeps hoping that he will stay with me, that we will work something up so we ca stay together. But then, he gets up and I hear him getting dressed.

I try very hard keep my eyes close, and pretend to sleep, fighting against my tears; when suddenly, I feel his hot breath on my face. He longly and lovingly kisses my forehead and whispers, "I'm so sorry, Clary. I _really_ am. We never should have crossed paths and yet, I can't bring myself to regret our meeting. I can only regret that my life hurt you. I promise you that you won't have to bear with that shit I brought upon you any longer. I'm sorry about the heartbreak and the tears you'll have the next morning, but I really needed to come and get this drawing. I know that you don't think much of it, that you never had, but you no idea what it means to me. I need my piece of courage, and this is it."

Does he know that I'm faking? I don't think so. He leans and kisses me again on the forehead, but this time it's even longer. Brushing my hair with his calluses fingers and then, he's gone. I open my eyes just in time to watch him close the door of my bedroom, and I stare blankly at it. Wishing that he had asked me to follow him. I know the reason he didn't. I know that he'll be on the run and that means that he and I will never be able to build something together. But I still wish he did. For two long minutes, I keep on staring at the door, until I decide that it's time for me to move on with that ghost of a life I have.

After dressing up in a pair of black jeans and a black blouse, I throw my black jacket over my shoulders and walk to the door of my apartment. I didn't take anything. Just the few bucks I had in purse. No credit cards, no phone, no subway card. Nothing that can trace me. Just me and my new resolution. Im pretty sure it's time for me to move on. Where I was pushed over by everyone's decisions. The cop's, the Fed's, the mob's and _Jace's_. After all, he was the one who put me in that state I was in by refusing to acknowledge me. It's time for me to put my foot down and impose my own decisions.

And so, as I close the door to my apartment, as is the door of my past life, I glance at my ring still in my finger and smile to myself.

I'm on a roll.

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

 **.**

 **~ So yup. Lots of lemons, because at this point, you all know that I'm a perv. Haha. But aren't we all.**

 **~ For those reading this for the first time, what do you think will happen?**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


	2. We Lost Our Past,

**My dear little broccolis㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **~So this is probably the part where** **I ask for your pardon for forgetting that I was actually re-uploading this story. Really sorry! To be honest, if it weren't for my wonderful beta Jia Ming unknowingly reminding me of it by reviewing another story, I probably would have completely forgotten about it! Haha, stupid little empty head of mine!**

 **~ Without no further ado, here is the chapter 2. But please, to all the people who already read this story, NO SPOILERS! For those who** **didn't, read REALLY CAREFULLY this chapter.**

 **~ Oh and as a fair warning, there is a little jump in time.**

 **Love, Mina ㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **.**

 **Chapter 2** **: We Lost Our Past, (4,1K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Clary's PoV.**

 **.**

With a little sigh, I lazily rubbed my tummy, doing my best to ease my sudden craving. This whole thing is becoming very tiresome, and I can't wait for it to be over.

As I lay in bed, waiting for my husband to come back, my thoughts waywardly go back to the day I met Jace. I don't actually know why this particular day come to mind but lately, I haven't been acting myself. Like I've said, I can't wait for it to be over.

It's funny how I remember that day so clearly, and the fact that I now know those things about him, I feel kind of stupid for actually falling for his games. Not that I regret it or anything, just that I feel stupid.

 _Today, I received a letter from my father that put me in a very conflicted mood. I don't know what to do about it, if I should go visit him, or if I should just pretend like I didn't read it. My father has been institutionalised ten years ago because he lost his mind, and killed my mother. I have no idea of how it all went down, simply because they were a very beautiful couple, very much in love, from what my ten years old self could tell._

 _The only fact that remains clear is the fact that when I came home from school, a social worker was there to see me and was going to place me in the system. My father has never given a sign that he was alive ever since. No matter how many letters I sent him over the years. Eventually, I stopped, only sending him a card once in a while for his birthday, and waiting for him to eventually respond._

 _Now that he did, I don't know what to do. I want to go and see him. But am scared of doing so._

 _Trying not to think about it, I sip on my coffee, reading the letter in my hands once more. I felt someone staring at me with insistence, so instinctively I looked up, curious of who could that be. When I meet the gaze of the stranger, I see a guy talking with another man, deeply involved in his conversation._

 _Still, I am sure he was the one staring at me._

 _To be honest, I wouldn't be able to tell his age, nor even if he's good-looking or not. All I see is blond hair and a black suit. So I shrug, thinking that I was imagining things, still stubbornly wanting to get a glance of him, I peek in his direction from time to time as I start doodling on the envelop of the letter._

 _At some point, the other man leaves, and the blond guy does the same shortly after. But as he does so, he leaves his wallet on the table. I hesitated a little, before hurrying myself to take it, and rush after him, hoping that I will still be able to see his blond hair in the crowd._

 _As it appears, he didn't make it very far, barely a few steps out of the café. So I hail him, finding it odd that his long legs didn't take him further for the minute it took me to decide that I would try to get his wallet._

 _He immediately turns at my hail, a very seductive smile lingering on his lips as I tell him: "You 'forgot' your wallet, sir."_

 _I might look gullible, but I'm not stupid. I know when I've been played. This man doesn't seem in such a hurry, so he had no excuse to have 'forgotten' his wallet. Still, I can't stop myself from staring at the hunk of a man._

 _He is actually very good looking. Very,_ _**very** good looking. His hair is not the only golden aspect of his body, his eyes are golden too, glistening in the morning sun. Let's not forget about his body as well. He is in very good shape, so I can tell, even though he is wearing a suit. The only annoying thing was that he is so much taller than me. It gets annoying to have so many people around and you always being the smallest one. _

_"Thank you miss. I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my body," He says with a charming smile; and though I try to keep myself compose, I can't help but laugh._

 _"Does that usually work? I don't think I know a single girl who would fall for this."_

 _He seems a little taken aback, but then, he composes himself again and says:_

 _"So, what was I supposed to do to make you 'fall for it'?"_

 _"I don't know. How about come and talk to me like any normal human being?"_

 _"Oh, but I'm anything but a normal human being. I'm more of an angel," He retorts, his lips still smirking at me. I roll my eyes, not even one bit impressed by this narcism displayed before me._

 _"You mean fluffy wings and rosy cheeks?"_

 _"No. Nothing like those romanticised cherubs. More on the biblical sense of the term. Avenging, destroyer, terrible, and incredibly good-looking."_

 _I laugh once again, unable to believe that someone could be so arrogant. I mean, either he's not taking himself seriously, or that I just found the newest Narcissus._

 _"Yeah. Too bad that angels are asexual…" I trail, tricking him in his own game. For a second, he remains speechless, before looking at me again with his golden eyes. But I don't waste my time anymore, and puts the wallet in his hands before turning on my heels and making my way back to my seat._

 _But he prevents me from doing so, by resting his hand on my shoulder, and making me spin as he says: "The name's Jace. Care to meet again for a proper introduction over coffee?"_

Yeah, Jace really got me on that one. But like I said, I don't regret it. I was gullible at that time, after all. None of this matters anymore. I am happy now. Beyond happy. After years of pain, I finally am, with a man I love more than anything else.

I never knew when, but I realised that I stopped thinking that I could ever be happy, but I am. Truly and completely happy. And that day was now, it was just another ugly nightmare.

The day when Jace got arrested. I was not even there when it happened. I came home late that day, because Jace called me at the last minute, asking if I could buy mangoes. I did, not really thinking much about it, but now… I think he did that to spare me that little moment. Because the shop where we buy mangoes was all the way across town, and that Jace knew that I'd walk there, like I always do.

But when I came home, my world still crumbled, and he wasn't even there to hold me up.

 _I get home, two big mangoes in my bag. Instead of the usual deserted lobby, the front of my building are gathered several police officers, along with men in black suits. I frown, wondering which of my neighbours got into trouble. I walk forward into the building, since there are no yellow police lines forbidding me to do so._

 _I take the stairs, like I always do, excited to tell Jace about all the fuss in our building. Maybe he already knows and is watching from our window._ _But, when I got into my apartment, my heart free falls and I rush to the door where there were two police officers standing. **The yellow lines are here**._

 _"Where is Jace?" I ask, already imagining the worst. What if a burglar tried to get into our home, and Jace caught him. I know he has a gun, and a short temper when it comes to others. Never with me, but he has no patience with other people._

 _"Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to step aside," An officer with round glasses tells me. But of course, I don't listen, doing my best to peep into my own apartment. Looking for blood, or even a body laying on the ground._

 _"Let her in," A man in black suit says, and I avidly walked into my apartment, seeing it submerged by a dozen of different people. "Clary?" He asks, and I nod. He looks at me funny with his deep blue eyes, and gives me a piece of paper. The drawing I made of Jace and I so long ago._

 _"Where's Jace?" I repeat, and the officer with round glasses finally answers my question:_

 _"He's been arrested twenty minutes ago for murder, money laundering and thieving."_

 _What? The sweet Jace that I know of got arrested? I… I can't believe it. I_ can't _. I do my best not to cry, and look down at the drawing, when my eyes fall on the engagement ring he gave me a year ago._

 _We were supposed to get married. We were supposed to have kids. We were supposed to move to the countryside and have a house there with white garden fences, a huge garden and a swing. We were… we were supposed to have our happily ever after.  
_

With a shake of my head, I shoo away all those memories, and my lips turn into a smile when I hear the lock of the front door open. I'm not sure if I'm happy to see my husband coming back, or if I'm happy that he's bringing the raspberries I've been craving for all day long.

Carefully I get up from our marital bed, and join him in the kitchen where he is already washing the raspberries. As soon as I reach him, he turns around, a humongous smile on his face and he gently cups my face to kiss my lips before bending down and kissing my prominent stomach.

"How are doing my two favourite girls doing?" He asks, heaps of love present in his voice, as he hands me a bowl of freshly washed raspberries. I smile to him, though I still roll my eyes at him as I let him know:

"Jon, you left twenty minutes ago to buy me raspberries. We're doing just the same as when you left."

Jonathan smiles in response nonetheless, and follows me into the living room, my precious bowl in hand. Once settled down on the sofa, I turn our TV show on, not sharing any of my precious raspberries while Jon takes me in his arms and kisses my forehead, making me feel all the love he has for me in that one simple gesture.

I love Jon. And I love how he makes me feel cared for and safe. I love how he loves me. And the love Jon gives me, I know of no-one who ever gave me the same amounts of it. It goes the same as to how much I love him. I know now that I've never loved someone the way I love him.

I did ran after Jace five years ago. When I decided to move on with my life, I mostly meant it as in going after Jace and stop this pretence of a life I was having when he was in prison. But I never found what I wanted. Jace rejected me because he wasn't ' _good enough for me_ '. After making love to me like he never did before, he turned and left and disappeared in the thin air.

To be honest, I am sometimes still afraid of the fact that he might come back. That he will resurface out of nowhere and destroy this perfect life that I have now with the man I love. I will not lie to myself, I do want Jace to come back. My life is perfect the way it is now, and I love it. I have a nice little cottage in the South of France, a steady job as a Art teacher in the evening, a loving husband who owns a bookshop, and a kid on the way. The happily ever after I always wanted. Like I said, my life is simply perfect.

When Jonathan and I found each other, and he made me forget all about Jace. He actually made it his mission to make me forget all about Jace. The good and the bad. All the prints that Jace might have left on me, Jon healed them with his golden heart. He knows about Jace. Of course he does, how can he not? But he never talks about him, though he vouched to never be like him. And I believed him. I really do. Of course, at first I had my doubts; but now, I truly and wholly believe him.

Jon is not perfection, but he is perfect for me. He is really suspicious of people, and is always scared for me. He can actually get a little too affectionate at times, when he feels that I'm not as invested in our relationship, as usual. I know it's because he is petrified of the idea that I might leave him, he told me so himself; but sometimes it just gets too much. So I throw tantrums and go for walks on the beach alone, just to give us both some space; and when I get home Jon is always waiting for me, a penitent look on his face and a dark chocolate bavarois in his hands. This is how much he loves me, he knows all my guilty pleasures.

Though, ever since I got pregnant, I have a strange addiction with broccoli. If I could, I would eat it at every meal I have. I even started growing some in our garden behind the house, which is stupid because the time the plant will give me broccoli, I will no longer be pregnant. I ate so much broccoli, that I won't be surprised if I gave birth to a broccoli. It'd only be fair.

My baby suddenly kicks inside, making me wince a little. She's been kicking more and more lately, and I am sure it's because her due-date is coming. The doctor said it should be in two weeks, but I'm sure he's wrong. I always write down my cycles and his dates don't correspond to mine. So I know I will have my baby girl sooner than anyone expects. Well, except her Dad.

Her dad who leans in and soothingly caresses my stomach kissing my neck with love. I really hope that she will be a mix of the two of us. Jon wants her to look just like me, but I want her to have my hair texture and her father's blond colour of hair. I want her to have his nose, and my ears. I want her eye colour to match Jon's while I want my big form eyes to be seen on her face.

We actually have one little disagreement. I want to call our baby girl, Seraphina, in honour of my paternal grandmother; but Jon wants to call her Hope, because he said that she is the incarnation of what I give him. I personally think it's weird to name your kid like that; and so we settled on giving her Hope as a second name.

"Guess what I just realised while I was getting your raspberries," Jon asks me, snapping me out of thoughts. I tilt my head a little to look at his unusual eyes, and he tells me: "Time difference aside, it's been exactly five days."

I smile with bliss as I realise what he is talking about; when I suddenly realise something on my own, making me freeze with every single muscle of my body. I take a deep inhalation, looking in the eyes of the love of my life, seeing his concern at my sudden stillness, and I inform him: "My waters just broke."

For a fraction of second, Jon doesn't do or say anything. He's completely frozen while I'm gritting my teeth at my first contraction and counting the seconds to know how long it lasts. But then, he finally snaps out of his state of shock, and starts panicking around.

I have to admit, it is kind of funny how he is running everywhere, saying out loud what he should actually be doing. It is so comical that it looks like I'm in a cartoon. I chuckle a little to myself before telling him to take me to the hospital. But he is so stressed out that he doesn't hear me, making me yell for him to calm down. I mean, I'm only at my first contraction, and it's our first child. I think I'm going to have plenty of time before the _real and painful_ labour starts.

Jon finally calms down a little, though the panic is still clear in his eyes, and he says that he's going to carry me to the car. To which I roll my eyes, reminding him that I can still walk like a big girl, and I tell him to go fetch the suitcase upstairs that I packed a few weeks ago, and to take my toiletry as well.

As he does so, I make my way to the car, making a mental note to tell Jon to clean the sofa when he'll get home since my waters just broke on it. As I walk to the car, I make sure that the gas is off, and that the alarm is ready to be launched. I'm not even by the car yet, when Jon opens the door for me (apparently, being in labour makes you stupid and unable to open doors, according to men). Then, he rushes to his seat, and drives us to the hospital, asking me the endless questions he read in the pamphlets the doctor gave him. He even asks me for my blood pressure, and so I tease him, telling him it's 170/90 (because _seriously_ do I look like I carry a blood pressure machine around?). At this, Jon literally panics, saying that it's not normal and that it's dangerous for both the baby and I; and I have to reassure him and remind him of logic. And as I do so, I can't help but think that mother Nature did a good job when she decided that only us females would give birth. Men panic over nothing.

When we get to the maternity hospital, the nurses take care of me, putting me in a room as they explain what I already knew. I'm only beginning my labour, and there was no rush. I just need to stay in a sanitary place because my waters can't protect my baby anymore. Though my file says I don't want an epidural, the nurse still asks me if I'm sure about it, and Jon tries once again to change my mind on that. But I stay on my position, and refuse. I want this birth to be as natural as possible, and would have actually loved to give birth at home, if Jon hadn't been so opposed by the idea. And the reason why I went on with him on this one is: what if something happens and requires an immediate medical intervention. Still, I did a lot of exercise to prepare my body to give birth like our ancestors did. I would have even stand up, but our hospital is still stuck up on the idea of a medical bed.

Jon stays with me all along, even when the hours are starting to get really long. Really _really_ long. How long can a child stay in a womb when all my body decide that she should leave?! Seriously, It's been almost twenty hours now! Twenty. Freaking. Long hours! For real? The nurses keep on saying that it's normal, that the first child can take a very long to come out, but this is getting too long. I read that a woman in Russia stayed 42 hours in labour, but I thought that it was an exception. _Twenty freaking hours_!

And finally, _finally_ the contractions begin to be very painful and very close. But to be honest, I'm so tired by now, that I think I could actually give birth in my sleep. Just like that. Snoring the baby out. As I'm letting Jon know about my crazy theory, a doctor comes into my room and read my file before giving me that sempiternal speech about deliveries, and pushing, and the beauty of creating life, but I'm not even paying attention. Like I said, I just want to sleep.

I'm so tired that I can't concentrate on anything but Jon's concerned eyes. I can hear his voice, telling me to push, that I'll be able to sleep all I want afterwards; and so I do, because I can feel that it's time. I grab the hand that he's offering me, and squeeze it really hard as I push with the little energy I have left. I swear she has the biggest head of the world! I got abducted during the night of her conception, and a bid headed alien inseminated me! She has such a big head! I don't know if I'm more tired, or in pain at this moment. It's not that the pain is that terrible, but being exhausted makes it worst.

And finally …

"This must be one of my quickest deliveries. Congratulations, it's a healthy baby girl," The doctor says, and I heave of relief, all exhaustion forgotten for a moment. All I can do is smile of delight as I'm seeing my baby girl crying and giggling in the doctor's arms. He turns his head to Jon, and asks: "Do you want to cut the umbilical cord?"

Jon nods, speechless as his beautiful eyes are shining with tears. I watch him cut the cord while on of the nurse takes the placenta out of me, and our daughter is crying her lungs out. And then, the doctor puts our baby girl on top of me while Jon comes to sit back next to me as I offer my breast to our daughter like the nurse instructs me.

He swiftly wipes a tear escaping his eye, and leans to kiss my forehead as he says: "I can't believe it. We finally have our little Hope."

I smile, looking down at our child, and seeing that, despite having a very big head, she is exactly like I wanted her. She's our little girl, the first rock of our long life to come. I lean against my husband, feeling exhaustion coming back to me, and ready to fall into Morpheus arms. I tiredly bring my left hand to his hand, and take it, intertwining our fingers and the green emerald of my ring shine under the light.

"I love you," I let him know, and Jon holds me a little bit tighter against me as he assures me:

"I love you more. I'll never deserve you, but I thank life everyday for putting you on my path. You make me want to be a better man with every passing day."

I smile at his words, falling asleep in his arms as exhaustion took over me while our daughter is sucking the milk out of my breast.

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

 **.**

 **~ Awwww. You didn't think I could write fluffy and cute fluff, now, did you? Haha, well I can, min you. Lots of love, lots of fluffiness, and cheesiness and yeah what can I say, I like this couple. They are so freaking cute. So much love, I tell you.**

 **~ So ... what did you think? Are you satisfied with this happy ending? Did you smile like I did (I laughed with the big head part, haha). Did you expect that the story would go like that?**

 **~ And what about** **Jace? What do you think is happening to him? Just know that next chapter (you know, the chapter I won't take forever to write) will be in his point of view, so you can know how he feels about Clary finding her happily ever after.**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


	3. But Found Our Future

**My dear little broccolis㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **So I want to say something first ‼️Thank you to everyone for supporting me and all. I just want to tell you guys, I am usually not a person who lets anyone or anything bring me down, or get to me. 99% of the time, everything one would tell, or say to me would go right through me and not affect me. Mostly because I know who I am, and that it took me too long to be proud of who I am to let anyone make me feel bad about myself like that or for what I stand for. Just like I said, it was only very upsetting to receive 12 emails of pure negativity all at once when I was already having a bad day. That review took me at my 01%, so it upset me. But honestly, that very same night, I was already over it. It wasn't even about what that person said, it was mostly because of the bad timing. So yeah. Know that I've been writing as long as I can remember. I'm not pretending to be Shakespeare, but I am aspiring to become a write. What that person said did not make me stop writing. I don't think anyone could ever make me stop writing, even if they try very hard. If I write on this website, it's because I love writing. I do not get paid or anything for this; and if I didn't love writing I wouldn't post anything on this website and I would only focus on my novels. So yeah, just a little break to myself; but still I love you all guys, and I cannot thank you enough for the support you gave me. You are all amazing broccolis.‼️**

 **~ Finally, this story is done. Congratulations to the few of you who actually guessed right the end of this story. I am so glad that you did, especially given the hints I made throughout last chapters. Without further ado, I will let you enjoy that last chapter, from Jace's** **point-of-view.**

 **Love, Mina ㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **.**

 **Chapter 3** **: But Found Our Future, (2,5K)**

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **Jace's PoV.**

 **.**

 **Uptown Girl — Billy Joel**

 **Diamonds — Rihanna**

 **Dernière Danse — Kyo**

 **Russian Roulette — Rihanna**

 **.**

Silently, I gaze at Clary sleeping in her clinic room, her hand hanging in the crib so she can still have a physical bond with her baby by touching her in their sleep. She is deep into sleep, looking so happy and peaceful. And this was all I could have asked for. Because her happiness, is my mine. No matter what kind of decisions I made in my life, no matter what I said, Clary is, and always will be, the love of my life. From the moment I fell in love with her, and until the day I die, she will remain the love of my life.

I still remembered the first time I laid eyes on her, almost ten years ago. It was in a little café where I was meeting one of my clients who wanted me to discuss business. There was nothing unusual about any of this. I would often meet people in this café, and I even had my fetich table.

It was from that table that I saw her for the very first time. She was sitting on her own, at a table near the window, mindlessly sipping on her coffee while reading some papers with her brows slightly furrowed. As my eyes looked at her over and over, I knew that I would get in her pants. I never had a thing for redheads, but they never left me indifferent, either. And there was something calling to me about this particular redhead. Maybe it had to do with her airs of innocence, or maybe it was because I could already imagine the crazy things I could do to her. Or maybe it was love at first sight, and I was already falling in love with her.

So, after staring at her for a while, and making sure that she felt my gaze on her; I left the café, 'forgetting' my wallet. And of course, she ran after me, like I knew she would. After all, it had always been in my nature to know how people would react to what I would do or say. It was even easier to manipulate decent and honest people.

But this was where she surprised me. She called me on my bluff, seeing right through me; and making me think twice about _only_ getting in her pants. The way she talked to me, and refused to take my shit… was something challenging and interesting enough for me to break my own rules and allow myself to ask her for a date, instead of my usual 'proposing her a random hookup'.

And that's how it all happened. Starting a relationship with Clary Something that I never did before, because relationships called for troubles. Not only on the personal aspect of the thing, but also - and mostly - because of my professional life. Caring for someone could make me appear weak to my enemies, and _many_ enemies I had.

And that's why I always kept Clary a secret. I always covered my tracks when I was on a date with her, or when she would come spend the night at my place, or me at hers. I always did my best to keep her away from my professional life, and even tried to keep her at a distance in our intimate life, not allowing myself to fall deeper into our relationship.

Until that day I caught a glance of _the_ drawing in the bin. It was a drawing of her I, made from charcoal and crayons when we shared our first kiss under the snow and the moonlight. The whole scenery came to life out of charcoal while Clary and I were brought out in crayons, making us stand out in the black and white background. This drawing touched me so much, to my very soul.

I remember how my heart started beating so fast as emotions were crushing me down, and how Clary dismissively told me to put that piece of art back in the trash because it wasn't her best work. And honestly, it wasn't. I had seen better work come out of her fingers; but all I could do was stare at it, my heart beating faster than it ever did. And without being able to stop myself, I had blurted out the words that I was trying so hard to keep for myself.

 _"God, I love you so much, Clary," I say my voice wavering with emotions, and my brain barely registering what I am saying._

 _Clary suddenly stops stirring her stew, her green eyes blinking at me as she registers what I just said; and so I walk to her, the drawing still in my hands as I insist with conviction: "I_ **really** _do."_

 _It seems like she had forgotten how to breath. She just continuously blinked at me over and over again. Her green eyes suddenly very serious, searching. And that made me doubt my words. Not the truth behind them, but their timing. Maybe it's too soon for her. Maybe she doesn't feel that way about me. Maybe she saw right through me and she doesn't want to get that involved with a criminal like me. But all my doubts are wiped away when she finally opens her mouth, her green eyes finally sparkling with delight: "I love you too, Jace. It's been a while, if you want to know it all."_

 _And just as her words hit my ears and heart, I leaned in to kiss her. She passionately wraps her arms around my neck, making both of our bodies collide; I let my own body express my love for her. But suddenly, as I take her in my arms to sit her on the counter, I realise the I am in the deepest shit I ever thought I could be in._

 _This is why I didn't do relationships._

 _Now, i have the woman I love between my arms, but I have nothing to give her. Nothing but death and destruction. My life isn't compatible with the life Clary deserves, the life I wish I could give her. I can't keep on living this criminal life, lying and deceiving her. I can't keep this life if I want to build something real and strong with her._

 _Clary must have felt my sudden change of mood, because she breaks our kiss and looks deeply into my eyes. I can see worry gleaming in her wonderful emeralds; and so I smile to reassure her all the while taking the decision of stopping this life I have been leading. I owe it to her. I can't bring her down into this world of shadows and schemes._

 _"Jace, …" She starts, her voice echoing with worry. I can tell that she was fearing that I'm backing away from my declaration. So, I caress her face with love and care, and leaned in to whisper in her ear:_

 _"Let's move in together."_

 _"So you can have your way with me whenever you want?" She playfully teases, arching her body against mine to make me understand that she wouldn't mind me having my way with her right now. I chuckle a little, and kiss her neck as I tell her:_

 _"No. So I can wake up every morning with the woman I love, laying next to me. And not only every other day of the week."_

 _"You can be so cheesy, sometimes, Jace," Clary says, gently shaking her head; and I can't bring myself to care. I don't care if loving her makes me cheesy, that doesn't stop my feelings for her._

 _I know that I can change my life For her. I have this possible exit that I have always refused, but now, I'll gladly take it. For her.  
_

Well … I'm not sure if the exit I took was the best option. It lead me to jail. It lead me to fail the woman I love so much. It lead me to hurt the only person I never wanted to hurt.

I called a contact I had with the Feds just a couple of days after this epiphany about my feelings for Clary. Agent Lightwood. Several times he had come to me before, proposing me an easy way out if I ratted on someone important or any influential people. And until that moment, I always managed to dodge the man. But then came the idea that it wasn't just me anymore. I had to think of Clary and what was best for her.

For three long years, Agent Lightwood dragged me along, promising me an exit that never came as I was falling deeper add deeper in my relationship with Clary. I kept on lying to her, but we were planning a future together. Somewhere away with a nice cottage and a few kids. Somewhere where she could express her art, and not too far from the sea since she loved the sound of the waves. Somewhere that we would call our own haven.

I never disrespected Clary to the point where I hid weapons in our bedroom (though she was aware that I always had a gun with me), or even in our flat. But I still kept on knowingly lying to her. I'm sure that a part of her suspected something shady about me. But her love for me blinded her. And so she kept on believing my lies. And I kept living this half life.

Until Agent Lightwood finally came up with my exit … _Jail_. He told me to do a little time before he would break me out of jail and make me disappear in exchange of the names of the Mafia's big shots. And so I did, without ever telling Clary about any of this. Because at that point, I had lied beyond the point of no return.

It broke my heart when she came back earlier than I had planned and she saw the arrest scenery. She didn't see me since I was already in a police car, but I still saw her, and it still broke my heart. During the whole trial, I saw in her eyes how devastated she was as she learned all the things I did, and by the lies I fed her with. And so it came to me that I should let her go. So I did my best to keep her away, to make her move on, even though everything I did was for her.

And now, because of all the decisions I made in my life, she is happily married, with a new born baby girl to make her marriage blossom even more.

And no matter what, I don't regret a single decision I made and that lead our lives to this point. Even though I wish I did things differently earlier in our relationship, I am still happy with the life Clary has now. Because this is the life I had always wanted for her. The life she deserves.

Suddenly, she stirs a little in her sleep, and she turns in her clinical bed before her eyes flutter open in my direction. I freeze, perfectly aware that I am not supposed to be here giving the time. She smiles a little, her eyelids heavy with sleep as she starts to drift back to sleep; but then she snaps her emeralds open and bluntly sit up. Her eyes linger on me, surprise and worry gleaming in her green orbs as I do not move a single muscle.

"What are you doing here?" She asks, her voice hoarse with sleep; and I gently smile to her, telling her the truth of my nature:

"Just making sure that you're okay."

"You shouldn't be here," She admonish me, her brows scowling me. "If a nurse catches you …"

I chuckle a little, knowing that visitors hours are passed since a few hours already, but that I can also make my way through amy kind of security. Gently, I walk closer to her bed, glancing quickly to the crib to make sure that the little baby girl that is Hope is okay; and then, I sit on the bed, next to Clary who's warily watching me with her green eyes.

"How are you doing, babe?" I ask her with concern, caressing her face with all the love of the world. She smiles at me, exhaustion clear on her face; and so I lean to sweetly kiss her forehead. I longly press my lips on her soft skin, and then, she rests her head against my chest, whispering:

"You always worry too much. I am stuck in a hospital. Literally _nothing_ can happen to me.

I smile at her words, and retort: "That won't stop me from making sure that my two girls are okay."

Clary gently shakes her head, before hitting back the pillow, brining me along the way. And so I lay next to her, perfectly aware that I am a lucky bastard who clearly doesn't deserve her. But she still loves me by some crazy miracle, and I won't be stupid enough to let her go once again. She loves me enough to accept this whole new life as fugitive under the surveillance of Agent Lightwood, and to accept me as a whole new person. So I won't let her go.

As I wrap my arms around that woman that I cherish so much, she snuggled against me, and whisper: "You know, I kind of like that you kept some of your old habits, like sneaking out on security. I was missing you in my sleep."

"I missed you more, babe," I whisper in her hair, and she doesn't try to argue, already falling back asleep in my arms. I swiftly kiss her lips before telling to her sleepy form: "I love you, Clary."

"I love you too, Jon," She mumbles against my chest, before finally going back into Morpheus' arms as I watch over her and our daughter, seeing them sleep safe and sound.

 **THE END**

.

 **.~°~. .~°~. .~°~.**

 **㈏4Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed㈏4**

 **.**

 **~ So ...** **Jace is Jon. Once again, congratulations to those who guessed it. I honesty can't wait to see your reactions. Yay. Haha**

 **Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9 Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


	4. Little Note From Me To You

**My dear little broccolis㈏4㈏4㈏4,**

 **~ So this was a tiny little journey that we made** **all together. This story was short, but rather emotional, I think. I don't know, I liked it. But then again, I wrote it. To clear any confusion that might be:**

 **— Clary knows that Jon and Jace are the same person. She kept Jace's ring, and she mentioned that sometimes, she is scared of seeing Jace resurface. Plus, she told Jace that she liked that he kept some of his old habits when he came to visit her at the hospital. Take Jace as a case of schizophrenia and Jace being the dormant personality now.**

 **— Clary and 'Jon' are living together in the South of France, and have been implanted there by Agent Lightwood.**

 **— The three titles put together make a single** **sentence ㈴1**

 **~ Anyway, I decided that now, at each story that I finish, I would propose you stories that I like, or might like when I will start reading them. Haha. I need more time, can anyone send me some?**

 **1- Except The Unexpected, by Shauna Kullden (T)**

 **I did not read this one, yet. But I love spy stories, so this story is in my top list.**

 **Especially since it is written by my lovely beta.**

 **You should definitely give it a try.**

Jace Herondale is the top agent in the New York Shadowhunter agency and is assigned to a case with a red headed partner he hasn't met the way to their meeting he bumps into another redhead whom he mistakes for his partner and all hell breaks loose when he finds himself furious with and then fascinated by the red headed girl called Clary. (Clace, Sizzy, Jaia and maybe Malec)

 **2- Hello, by I'm A Writing Dreamer (T)**

 **This one is a one-shot, and it is very emotional.**

 **I don't know, I really loved the angst in this one-shot, and I strongly advise you to read it.**

It's been 887 days since the fate-less night he spewed word vomit. 1,003 voice mails on his phone. It takes him from June 12 to November 15 two years later to catch sense. 67 days, from November 15 to January 21 to finally catch up on everything she's wanted him to be a part of. "I must've called a thousand times." ... "But when I call you never seem to be home."

 **3- Clarissa Is A Punk, by reppinda5o3 (M)**

 **I really liked this one, because it is very different of the usual teen stories we have.**

 **I really think you should give it a try to experiment something new and interesting.**

C is different. She's in a band. She's covered in piercings & tats. She's in a relationship with a hot girl and at the moment, is loving life. So what happens when the football team's running back who is also her brother's arrogant, playboy best friend, decides he wants her? Will he get what he desires? Will it turn into more? We'll see. M for language and lots of lemons AU/OOC

 **4- The Boss's Daughter, by me (M)**

 **Yup, I do like advertising myself. Haha**

 **This story is a new one, that will touch the dark themes briefly broached here:**

 **Mafia, murder, violence, language, and so on.**

In a world where men of trust are hard to find, and where one could kill another just to make a statement, Valentine places his trust with Jace Wayland. The Mafia Lord considers Jace as his right hand, and trusts him so much that he does not hesitate on putting the care of his beloved daughter in the blond's hands. But should he? {OOC/AH/AU} Romance/Drama/Angst -

 **~ Anyway, I hope that you will look at those stories. And also, know that I wrote my own book which is for now only available online. So if you want to help me grow even more as a writer, you could check it out. It would seriously warm my heart. The book I published is the first of a series of four (The Hearts Series), which is called _Blooming Hearts_. The synopsis is: ** When the O'Bryan twins -Liam and Krys- arrive in New York, Dylan is immediately drawn to them and the aura of mysterious dark secrets surrounding them. Little by little, the three teenagers will learn to unveil their hearts as they embark on the road of friendship, love and trust. But is either of them ready to go down that road? **If you want to get it, you can go on SmashWords.**

 **If you think you would be interested in reading it, then do. I promise the story is good (well, I have to say so because I am writing the book, but it is)**

 **~ Anyway, I'll let you go on your merry way (hopefully to one of those stories above, or to my book), and I'll see you in another update.**

 **With all my love, Mina㈏4㈏4㈏4**

 **Kiss㈍9 Kiss㈍9, Bang㈝9 Bang㈝9**


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